What I've learned about French children thus far.

Image from the LA Times article, Tiger Moms vs. Bebe Moms.

     It's very hard for me to go through the summer without a summer reading list; I've had one since middle school, including freshman year of college, so now I make my own. This summer I finished the Hunger Games series, Life of Pi, Cutting for Stone, and Bringing Up Bebe. After graduation I wasn't looking for anything too academic, so the latter was my feeble attempt at studying French child rearing from an American perspective. Here's what I learned:

1. The French seem endlessly patient. They wait hours for their check after supper and even longer to see the president's house the few times a year the Palais Elysee is open. They study paintings, books, and movies with an academic eye. The same goes with raising children, apparently. Parents pause for a minute or two when a child cries to make sure that their intervention is necessary. The pause helps parents get to know a child's rhythms and allows children time to self-soothe. 

2. Meals are served at 8 am, noon, and 8 pm. There is no snacking in between for adults, but children may have a little gouter, or taste of something, around 4 pm. This explains why Frenchies are so skinny. More on that later.

3. Speaking of meals, children have to at least try a bite of everything placed in front of them. My host in Tours applied the same rule on my meal time. Varying tastes, textures, and smells are presented to children early on and reintroduced multiple times so children develop varied palates. Children's menus are few and far between. They eat what you eat.

4. I learned helpful little phrases like, sois sage, or "be wise," in this book. Tu n'as pas le droit de faire ca. You don't have the right to do that- hit someone or talk back to an adult for instance. Hopefully they come in handy tomorrow when I have my first class. 

5. At home, children live within a strict framework of parental authority, but within that framework kids have a lot of freedom. A child may have to be in their room at 8 pm for bed, but once they're in their room they are at liberty to do what they like. This idea of le cadre, or the frame, is an old one. Next on my reading list is Emile ou de l'education, published by philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau in 1762, because this work is still the basis for France's ideas about children and education.

6. Public education is meant to mold children into good French citizens who are aware of their own humanity and that of others. It is also the unspoken duty of French parents to teach their children patience and empathy so they too can be productive members of French society in due time. Coloring outside of the lines isn't an expression of individualism. It is incorrect. 2+2=5 won't be heralded as a good try in a French classroom. That answer will be scolded and corrected. 

All of this does not go to say that French parents and teachers expect children to be completely submissive and void of personality. The idea is that children can live within strict limits that are explained to them and regularly enforced because they learn to relay on themselves as individuals, and within their family's framework they can grow into self-aware Frenchies. 

Interesting things I've observed on the streets of France:

-Papa is almost always the one pushing the stroller and holding his child's hand in the museum. Maman isn't far away enjoying time to herself. Hovering is the last thing on her mind.

-Parents speak to their children like they would to another adult. Baby voices aren't used past the newborn stage.

-A little boy fell while walking on a small ledge. His dad explained that if you don't watch where you're going that's what happens. He cried for a minute. Everyone moved on. 

-French children are not perfect, but man are their accents are adorable. 

-I've overheard middle schoolers refer to school as prison multiple times. Yikes. I hope they don't feel like that in my class. 

I wanted to write this post before I actually start teaching, which will be tomorrow. These are things that I've read and observed so far, but I'm about to have a much more intimate introduction to French children. More to follow on that as well. Happy Sunday!